I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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