I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Randomize
