wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
