I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
