shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Randomize
