their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
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