ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
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