You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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