its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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