It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
smell my finger.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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