he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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