Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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