Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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