Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
