She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
