If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
