Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
