so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
