fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Randomize
