I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
