your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Randomize
