my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize