After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize