Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Randomize
