I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
