Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
