the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
