she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
