She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
