I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize