Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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