Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
