In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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