Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
