Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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