That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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