My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize