You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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