My friends, they love my intelligence
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
