well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
