it's not cheating when I paid for it
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
