Taylor Swift is so right about you.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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