Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
