Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize