my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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