I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
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My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
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We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize