I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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