batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I just found puke in my bra..
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize
