You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
