Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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