I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
