he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
