take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
