2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Randomize
