This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Randomize
