THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
this hospital has no fireball
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
