Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
MIDGETS
????
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
