I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
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She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
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I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize